Timothy Kline: Thoughts and Reflections

While millions of other families around the world gather together to celebrate one day of appreciation and gratitude for what they have been through, for each other, and for many other things, I sit here at my desk trying to figure a multitude of things out—much of it by the seat of my pants, as it were.

And while I’m tempted to go into details, I am simply going to say that I appreciate the very few people in my life whom I can speak openly and frankly to and know that for them, the feelings that are behind those words are what really matters.

I appreciate those very few people in my life to whom I can say that something they’re doing makes me feel a certain way—and they know that I’m not saying that they are doing that—but that by their actions or words, I am being made to feel that they are.

I appreciate those very few people in my life who, realizing that I am hurting and confused or frustrated, then say to me that they certainly never meant to convey that impression—but that they understand how what they said or did could have been taken that way. I appreciate those very few people in my life who are willing to do their part to correct the matter.

It’s difficult to maintain relationships, and even harder to build them. But it becomes even more difficult when you cannot speak openly with someone—even when they’ve assured you that you can say anything to them, or talk to them about anything. It becomes more difficult when, after opening your heart’s feelings about a problem, they respond by saying that they’re sorry that they’ve bothered you, and will just disappear, and tell you to pretend that you never knew them. It hurts when they don’t take the time or make the effort to understand how what they said or did could have been taken that way, even if they never meant it to.

But I’m grateful for those very few people in my life who do.

I don’t have very many friends at this stage in my life. In fact, I count three in all. But I’m grateful and thankful for each one of them. I’m grateful because they are the sort who are ready and willing to hear me out and immediately respond by saying, “Well, let’s see what we can do to resolve that together…” —not by abandoning me altogether because I spoke my heart or mind, and to tell me that the solution is for them to get out of my life altogether.

Friendships…  relationships… do not happen. They are built. They require blood, sweat, and yes, even tears. They require a determination like no other endeavor in our life requires—if they are to have any success whatsoever. Feelings will be hurt. Disappointments will occur.

It’s when we can say to one another, “I didn’t realize that I was doing that…  that what I was saying or doing was causing you to think or feel that…  and I’m sorry. Let’s see what we can do about repairing that right now…” that we stand a chance to make it, against even the longest odds.

And today, I am expressing my deepest appreciation and respect, gratitude and thankfulness for those few in my life who are of such making.