Timothy Kline: Thoughts and Reflections

Doesn't it make you want to just yank your hair out?!

Caution: This blog contains language some might find offensive.

One of the things that bugs me most is when someone comes to you, telling you about the situation they’re in, how they don’t understand why they’re in it, and that they want to be out of it, and then you tell people what they can do to make their lives better, or to get out of a predicament they’re in, they tell you you’re right…  and then they go right on doing what they’ve been doing all along…  and wonder why they situation never gets any better.

I think some people just like to bitch about their life. Seriously. They don’t REALLY want to do anything that will make things better for them; they just want someone to agree that their life sucks, is unfair, miserable, and on and on, while they go right on living the life that they want to live.

It has to be one of the most frustrating things I’ve ever experienced, and I keep ramming my head up against the same wall again and again, and I never seem to learn.

I mean, if someone I know and or care about is going through something and it’s making them miserable or unhappy, and they tell me as much, and I suggest what they can do to eliminate or at least minimize the problems, then what? Why do they insist on continuing to talk about the problem? Worse still, why do they persist in justifying WHY they are continuing to do the same thing that gets them into the problem in the first place? The obvious question is “Did you try what I suggested, to at least see if it helps?” and of course they haven’t because they think that they’ve got a better idea–and then the next thing you know, they’re back to complaining and whining about their life again.

What do ya do with people who live their lives like that? Especially when you KNOW they can have a better life…  They seem to want their cake and to eat it to. They want a better life BUT only so long as they can live their life how they want to live it.

So why do I persist in hoping for them, or in trying to help people like that? And why am I surprised when I end up disappointed, feeling used, and frustrated? Especially when I know that I can stop it by just stopping my trying to help people unless I am absolutely convinced that I wouldn’t be wasting my own energies, resources, and time assisting them. That means that THEY need to FIRST convince ME that they warrant my investment of time, energy, and resources. No more charity. No more pro-active approaches.

But even that’s hard, because I am sometimes left wondering whether a person really is hellbent on being they way they are, or they simply just can’t help it. Some people are prone to making the same mistakes or choices over and over because they just cannot make any other choice, for whatever reason–whether genetic, mental, or whatever. And no amount of effort on my part could ever change that. And that last statement is perhaps the hardest for me to swallow, because I have spent the majority of my life helping others and being their for others, and being whatever it is that they need–and in the end, I’m drained of every last ounce of energy, emotion, and thought, because I’ve expended myself so much in trying to meet OTHER people’s needs.

Still, if I’m just going to whine and bitch about it and yet do nothing to change it or to stop it from happening in my life, then I am as bad as the people I describe in this post. And I’d rather not be. So, it ends. Here. Now. Today. No more drama. No more BS. No more nonsense. I need to live MY life, whatever’s left of it.